I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
