Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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