Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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