Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
