She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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