i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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