I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
