Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me

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(248): View more from Michigan

Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.

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(613): View more from Ontario

i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.

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(410): View more from Maryland

When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl

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(970): View more from Colorado

I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.

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(419): View more from Ohio

He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.

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(207): View more from Maine

I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.

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