I want to stick my p in your. b.
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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