And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
