Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
