Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
