we have pet lesbian snakes
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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