i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
