Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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