playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I AM VODKA MAN
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
