This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
