you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
