just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
