i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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