Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Randomize
