I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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