About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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