When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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