Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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