The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
