I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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