Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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