he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
