Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
