I must be too annoying 4 u.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
