It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
