you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
It was confusing and full of hummus
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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