You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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