I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
