Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Ambien. No doubt about it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
