I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
