Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
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