I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
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