That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
