wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
