Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
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