A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
