Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
