he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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