you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Randomize
