So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize