some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
