i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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