Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
