i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
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