p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
