my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize