it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
