We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
