She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I think your dad took our porno
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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