you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize