Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
