these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
