Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
