What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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