That's when you crack a 10am beer
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
