so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
