Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
