There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
