how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
