i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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