Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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