The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
